I want to heal
Thursday January 28, 2010
Dear Ms. Miller,
I am 63 years old and in between sobs have just finished reading the 'Drama of the Gifted Child'. I have known for some years now that this was the 'story' of my life but could not exactly find expression for it. I cannot begin to tell you how utterly grateful I am to you (you are a life saver). After googling your name on line, I cannot believe that I actually have a way of communicating with you.
I have a history of severe depression and do consult with a psychiatrist for medication. I have tried therapy at times, but have not had success with it. I've spent most of my life suppressing my feelings and now I have begun to access them so much so, that it is somewhat unbearable, but also empowering. I believe that I am now strong enough to be able to access these feelings and memories want more than anything to find and become my authentic self and my voice. In fact, I have begun this process. My problem is that I have not been able to find a therapist who is 'qualified' to work with me..they do not 'get it.' I shared with my recent therapist that I felt so abandoned, unloved and afraid to express myself, and had difficulty trusting people since it was dangerous growing in my parents home for me to do so. I had been seeing my therapist (who I no longer see) for a couple of months, and he said that I was using my feelings of being abandoned and unloved as an excuse not to trust him. I explained to him that it would take more than a couple of months for me to feel trusting. I know that his comments were ignorant and demonstrated to me that he didn't have the depth of understanding.
I am writing to you because I want to heal and am willing to do whatever it takes but I cannot do this by myself. I know that I need to find a qualifed therapist, and one that will accept my health insurance. I have researched this and have not been able to find a qualified therapist who will take my insurance. I live in Manhattan, New York.
Can you give me any kind of advice (steps to take, direction to go in) until such time that I am able to find a therapist. I have begun to journal which is somewhat helpful. Even though I am 63 years of age, I will not give up on myself.
If you feel that it would be helpful to print this letter, then please use my initials: GM.
Thank you for any assistance you are able to offer me.
AM: You can use my FAQ list and please read the first two entries on the page "articles". And read my recent books.